Under the Mistletoe
by Kagetsuya
Summary: 383, PGPG13? (add'l warnings contained herein). There are many stops along the journey west. One in particular celebrates Christmas with a festival. No youkai today, folks... but maybe youkai would be overkill.


**Title:** Under the Mistletoe  
**Author:** Kagetsuya  
**Fandom:** Gensomaden Saiyuki  
**Rating:** PG/PG13  
**Warnings:** shounen-ai, implied yaoi, blink-and-miss-it quasi-angst (so small, it really shouldn't have a warning), some language, bad attempts at humor, author stupidity, faint Japanese  
**Notes:** Done for Sariyuki, during the Interlude (383) Secret Santa project, 2004. Please forgive the stupid jokes and not-so-vague references in here. (Yes, that's right, PH34R the gamer dork in me.)I don't know what I was on when I did this, but I think it's safe to say I'm never doing that stuff again. Oh, and don't mind the partitions. If this makes it to FFN, they have a habit of eating my hyphens, dashes, and equal signs (and damn near everything else). Last, but not least, thank you, Met-kun, for the beta work! (Any other mistakes here are the fault of either me or of FFN's nasty habit of chewing my documents and spitting semi-mangled versions back out.)

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Under the Mistletoe  
by Kagetsuya

Even after weeks of traveling and roads with no people around, to say that the crowds about them now was a pleasant surprise would not be entirely correct. It _was_ a surprise, sure, but it wasn't altogether pleasant for anyone involved.

"Oh, my. People," Hakkai commented glibly. "What a pleasant surprise."

All right, so maybe Hakkai was the exception.

"I'm huuuungry!"

"_Don't_, monkey. You'll make me start whining, too."

"You're hungry, too?"

"Horny." A pause, taken to think. "But hungry works."

There was silence, then, no one wanting to reply to that. Which, as could be expected, was broken by another whine from Goku. Without turning around, the monk reached back and whacked the boy soundly with his harisen.

"Hakkai."

Turning his head slightly to accomodate Sanzo into his field of vision, Hakkai teased, "Are you hungry and horny, too?"

Sanzo raised his fan threateningly, then gestured to the crowd they were stuck in. "Beep at them, rev up the engine and scare them. Just get them to _move_."

The brunette shook his head. "I'm sorry, Sanzo, but pedestrians have the right of way."

Wrong answer. Very wrong answer. Except that with Hakkai, things like that didn't really matter. Under what must have been Sanzo's worst — best? — glare to date, he could still smile and stick to what he'd said. Finally, with a huff, the monk turned away, leaving Hakkai to maneuver his way amongst the various people, who were heading, it seemed, towards the same destination as the Sanzo-ikkou.

"You know, come to think of it, what is this place that we're going to?" Gojyo asked.

"Uh, it seems to be..."

As one, they squinted at the large sign above the city gates. Presumably, their destination's name was up there somewhere, but it was obscured by what looked like a massive green garland, drooping from its place at the top of the sign. All they could discern was a large-printed "Welcome to" above the garland and "festival" below it.

"Ah, so that would explain all these people." The jeep at a stop for the moment, Hakkai turned to a nearby pedestrian. "So what is this festival, anyway?"

The man looked at him incredulously. "What, have you been living in a cave all this time?"

Hakkai looked sheepish. "Er, we're... tourists. From far, far away. And, uh... the travel brochure didn't say anything about this."

"Pssh. I'll bet." Then, "It's the annual Christmas celebration. Really famous." He squinted at the four in the jeep. "You must be from really far away if you haven't heard about it."

The brunette chuckled. "Yeah. Must be."

Another snort, and the man turned to be on his way. Hakkai sighed, then settled back into his seat to wait out the traffic.

"Sanzo, I'm hungry!"

"Shut up, monkey!" Pause. "Sanzo, I'm horny!"

The temperature dropped. To sub-zero levels. Hakkai kept a smile on his face and his gaze forward, noting how the people walking around them also seemed to feel the sudden chill, glancing around and unconsciously rubbing at their arms.

_Click_.

"Sanzo?" came a tentative Goku.

_Click._

"I really don't think that's a good idea, Sanzo," Hakkai cautioned. "There are too many people around."

Sanzo turned with a razor-sharp grin and a not-quite-sane glint in his eyes. He nodded once, as if to say, "Exactly." Then he stood, aimed his gun above the crowds.

"Sanzo, you shouldn't"

_Bang!_

There was a moment or two before people registered the gunshot and started screaming. Looking intent and still very much pissed off, Sanzo emptied the barrel of its rounds, reloaded as smoothly and as quickly as if he were on a battlefield, and the shooting began anew.

Needless to say, their ride into the city was smooth sailing from there.

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Festival time that it was, most of the lodgings had been taken, many having made reservations far in advance and others coming early to get rooms. Sanzo's gun and threats would not help here, though it was clear he was still tempted.

"I'm not sleeping in the damn jeep," Gojyo muttered, letting out a puff of smoke.

They were at what must have been the hundredth hotel in town, trying to wrangle rooms. He was stuck with making sure Goku didn't storm a nearby restaurant or die from hunger, while Sanzo and Hakkai were at the reception desk. The red-haired youkai glanced at Hakkuryuu, who'd made his shoulder a temporary perch.

"No offense, of course, but I'd really like a bed."

"Kyuu," the dragon agreed.

It had been far too long since they'd all slept in a proper bed. Prospects looked dim damn the stupid festival, but they were all hoping for a miracle.

"And that's all you have?"

Gojyo and Hakkuryuu both perked at Hakkai's voice, the redhead grabbing a hunger-dazed Goku by the collar and moving closer to hear what was being said.

"Y-yes, sir." The young man at the desk was flailing under Sanzo's glare, most likely. "That room and the— Er... I mean, it's the Honeymoon Suite most of the year, but, uh... um, around this time, it's more just reserved for VIPs, and... uh..." Flailing slowly turned into cowering. "The reservation was cancelled at the last minute and— and— and that's really all we—"

"We'll take it," Sanzo interrupted, brandishing his Gold Card and slamming it onto the counter.

"Sanzo" Hakkai began.

"It's not my money and I'm not going anywhere else."

There was a pause, before Hakkai gave a small laugh. "I guess you're right."

Gojyo closed the distance between them. "All right! We get a suite!"

The monk turned. "There was one more room left. You and Goku are taking that."

"Huh?"

A glare. "It's not my money, but I'm not taking responsibility if you destroy a suite with your bickering. Or if I have to fire the gun to shut either of you up."

Gojyo opened his mouth to reply, but changed his mind, not sure just how much worse the monk's disposition was getting due to all the delays. He knew when to push and this was definitely not one of those times. Besides, he'd caught the glances the blonde had been trading with Hakkai when they were negotiating the rooms.

"So," Hakkai broke the exchange, "since we've got our lodgings secured, how about we all go and check out this festival?"

The two stared at him for a moment.

"And since it _is_ a festival, they're bound to have some great food."

"Food!" In a blink of an eye, Goku was latched onto the brunette's arm. "They've got food? We're going to get food? Where? What kind? It won't take long, will it? We've taken so long already and I think I'm gonna— Ow!"

Goku left that train of thought, turning to Sanzo indignantly. "Did you have to hit me that hard?"

Stashing his harisen, the monk's only answer was a snort.

The boy pouted for about a second, then, knowing Sanzo would not heed him, turned back to Hakkai. "So, food?"

Hakkai grinned. "Of course."

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The city seemed bigger, now that they didn't have to really fight with the crowds to get things done. Sure, there was still too many people around, but now that the Sanzo-ikkou could enjoy themselves, it did not seem as bad as before.

"Gaaah! This is so good!" Goku exclaimed around the meat bun he was devouring. "Festivals have such great stuff to eat!"

Beside him, Hakkai chuckled. They'd found a restaurant to eat in, but Goku, bottomless pit of a stomach that he had, insisted on getting more food from the vendors lining the streets, wanting to try everything in sight. What followed of course involved a little placating on the part of Hakkai when Gojyo started teasing the boy and Sanzo argued with the both of them, but they'd ended up exploring around, anyway.

Not that it was a bad idea. Festivals meant plenty of people, and plenty of people meant plenty of women. Gojyo was well into his scouting for prospective dates for the festival, hitting on nearly every good-looking female in the vicinity, usually while they made food stops for Goku. As for Sanzo... Well, he accompanied them, nothing in his expression betraying his thoughts. But it seemed that the happy atmosphere helped him lighten up, his scowl absent and he being more tolerant of the energetic Goku.

"Okonomiyaki!" Bouncing, Goku went ahead of them to the stand he'd found. "Hakkai, let's get some of this, too! It's okay, right, Sanzo? Right?"

Hakkai looked at Sanzo. After a moment, the monk waved his hand in a 'Do what you want.' gesture, and was rewarded with a happy whoop from the boy. Sanzo snorted, muttered something about stomachaches, but otherwise did nothing else. Gojyo, on the other hand, was too busy watching a group of twenty-something women a meter or two ahead of them to rag on Goku for buying more food.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard it's in the theatre area! You know, the one in the central gardens?"

"It's not a Christmas thing, though, isn't it?"

"I heard it was more of a New Years' thing. But since the festival lasts until then, they start showing it now."

"_I_ heard that it's good luck, too."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. All the plays done by that troupe are. They say depending on the performance you watch, that's the kind of good fortune you're granted. But there's limited space, 'cause the place they reserved's not that big. I mean, it's open space and all, so people squeeze in if they can, but generally, not everyone gets to see."

"Of course, what's the charm of it if everyone can get in?"

"Exactly, exactly!"

"What kind of shows are they putting on today?"

"Hmm...? Let's see... It's almost sunset, isn't it? Um... Oh!"

"What? What is it?"

"Damsel in distress, dashing hero, that sort of thing."

"So it's a romance?"

"Mm-hmm."

"I say we all go check it out!"

"Oh, no, not me." A laugh. "I don't need that kind of luck."

"Ohh, just because you've got that Li Fei, huh?"

"Come with us, anyway! Can't have enough good luck, right?"

"Yeah, the gaming area's near the tents. We can find him and you can go together!"

"You guys..."

Variations of "Come with us!" followed. Waiting for Hakkai and Goku to finish with the okonomiyaki stand, Gojyo couldn't follow them as they moved off in a flurry of laughter and entreaties for the — already taken, he'd noted this with a sigh — dark-haired beauty to join them.

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An hour later found them in the city's giant central park area. Tents rose in the fields among the trees, all in different colors, topped with flags that advertised what could be found within. There were more street vendors, of course, more of them with various wares like pottery and jewelry instead of food.

One large area had been allotted to people running various games and tests of strength and skill. Jumping at the idea as he'd jumped at many other things the festival had to offer Goku more or less demanded they go straight there so he could play a little. Now, instead of with food, his arms were heaped with the various little toys and knick-knacks he'd won.

"So what do we do now?" he asked excitedly.

"You know, if we do everything today, what're we going to do tomorrow?"

"Everything all over again! Especially the food!"

Hakkai shook his head, smiling. "I suspected as much." He glanced at the other two members of the ikkou, who'd been following them quietly wherever they led. "Sanzo? Gojyo?"

Gojyo, it seemed, was off to the side, chatting up a young woman, offering to win her a prize or two, by the look of it. The monk, on the other hand, merely shrugged, finishing off the cigarette he'd gotten out sometime earlier and blowing one last puff of smoke out.

"You know, I _did_ hear of this famous acting troupe that's visiting for the festival," Hakkai mused. "Maybe we could take a break and watch them."

"Oh, cool!" High on the fact that he'd gotten to eat and play all he wanted, Goku was enthusiastic about everything. "What're they gonna do? Maybe something with a really cool fight scene, huh?"

A laugh and a shrug. "I hadn't heard. But if they're as famous as everyone says, I'd say it's worth checking them out, at least, right?"

"Yeah! Sanzo, hear that? We're gonna see the play and maybe they'll have a cool fight scene! Ooh! With swords!"

The blonde raised an eyebrow at Hakkai, who gave him an entreating smile. Sanzo gave another shrug.

"Whatever."

"Gojyo—" Hakkai began to summon his friend, but the redhead was already making his way toward him.

"Just my luck," he groused. "Why do all of them have to have boyfriends?"

"We're going to see a play," the brunette told him.

"Maybe with a cool fight scene!" Goku put in.

"Yes, that, too. Maybe it'll cheer you up."

"...Wait. Play, you said?"

Hakkai nodded. "Yes."

"About what?"

"I hadn't heard anything about that. Why?"

"Uh. Nothing, nothing. Sure, why not? Let's go."

"Waaaiii! We get to see a play! With a fight scene! With swords!"

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The theatre area was not too far from where they'd been. In fact, the stands for the open stages had been visible from the gaming tents. As for the right stage they had to go to, that was easy to find, as well. The big crowd surrounding it was a dead giveaway.

"Wow, there're a lot of people here," Goku marveled. "I wonder if we'll get in."

"Well, they're supposedly very famous, remember," Hakkai answered, looking around at everyone gathered.

Whatever they said after that died to secondary chatter to Gojyo. The crowd seemed to have a bigger proportion of women to men. And that spoke to him, told him that maybe he'd have better luck finding a date here. Of course, if this was the same place those women from earlier from talking about, he'd _expect_ his luck to change.

His gaze roamed the various female members of the crowd, noting prospects, dropping those that did not meet his standards or those who clearly had dates. He didn't have to pay much attention to when he had to move up in line, following the movements of the other three when he sensed them.

So it was that he was completely taken by surprise when it suddenly began to rain confetti and to thunder horns and poppers.

"Congratulations!" In front of the redhead, a man decked out in garlands and red and green clothing had taken Sanzo's hand and was shaking it vigorously, as another man this one dressed in some sort of armor threw more confetti around. "You, lucky sir, are the three hundred and eightieth customer to be in for this great play of ours!"

The blonde said nothing, a glare taking form at the attention this was drawing.

"Now, do you have a partner here with you this fine night?"

Sanzo began to say something, discarded the thought, and shook his head instead. "No."

If the man noticed that he was being brushed off, he gave no sign of it. "Well, then, the three hundred and eighty-first shall be your lucky— ah—" He stopped, blinked at Gojyo. "Oh... Well, shit."

He took the armored man by the arm, pulled him off to the side. Whatever they were discussing, it was in low whispers, but the one in red and green looked more and more incredulous as it went on.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" a voice boomed from the stage, making everyone turn in that direction. "We welcome you to our performance, which will begin shortly. But we have a twist tonight! Instead of our announced selection, we have a surpise for you all! The script for tonight's performance has been kept under wraps, a special secret for you all tonight. And two lucky audience members are going to be chosen to..." Dramatic pause. "Be the stars of the play...!"

This induced clapping, cheering, and a good amount of discussion between audience members.

"Rules are rules, I guess." The man in garlands had returned. "Hoo, boy. This is gonna be a night to remember."

He looked at Gojyo. "Well, sir, let's get going."

"Wait, what?" the redhead asked at the same time that Sanzo growled a warning to the man in armor.

The man gestured. "Look, didn't you hear? You two're gonna be in the play."

That brought about a chorused, "No way in hell."

"Aww, guys!" Goku looked between the two of them. "Isn't it cool? You're going to be _in_ the _play_!"

"He's right, you know," Hakkai added. "You don't get chances like this too often in a lifetime."

Silence. Even the crowd around them was watching, waiting to see what would happen. (Probably hoping they'd refuse.) But between Goku's pleading, kicked-puppy look and Hakkai's expectant one, Gojyo gave in.

"No fair double-teaming," he muttered at them, defeated.

As one, they turned their attention to Sanzo.

"Saaaanzooo!"

"We'll never let you live it down, Sanzo."

The blonde glared.

Goku readied himself to plead with the man, but Hakkai stopped him, stepping up to the monk, meeting that violet gaze and uttering a simple, "Please?"

The staring contest between them went on for a few moments. Stubborn. The members of the Sanzo-ikkou were all stubborn in their own way, that much was painfully obvious. But Hakkai rarely showed that side of him mostly because he had no to reason to, so there was no real measure of how far he would go in this.

Sanzo was the one to look away first.

"Sanzo...?"

The blonde did not look at him, jerking his head at the man in red and green to lead the way.

At the cheer from the people around them, Gojyo got the feeling it wasn't a good idea. From the way the man leading them to the backstage area had been and still was acting, he _knew_ it was a bad idea.

He opened his mouth to ask what the play was going to be about—

—and was interrupted by a vision half-dressed in regal clothing coming up to them.

Chocolate brown hair, doe brown eyes. Her porcelain skin needed no powder to make its tones more pale. The half-buttoned — half-_un_buttoned, Gojyo corrected himself optimistically — dress needed no padding to accentuate the swell of her breasts.

And when she smiled...

She was supposed to be a queen, maybe, or an empress. Or a princess. A princess in trouble. Maybe he'd have to save her.

Briefly, he wondered if traveling actresses were more amenable to flings than the average woman.

"So," she said, "you're our lucky winners."

Gojyo considered offering to make _her_ a... 'lucky winner' after the show.

She batted her eyelashes at the both of them. "Now, which of you is wearing the dress?"

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Hakkai thought he heard a gunshot and several shouts. But in the swell of the crowd's excited conversation, he wasn't sure. He thought of asking Goku, but the teenager was busy talking to the woman sitting beside them about knowing the two who would be the stars of the play. He smiled, happy that they could relax like this on their journey. These times were few and far between.

Half an hour passed before the lights surrounding the area dimmed, the spotlights focusing on the stage turning on in their place. The audience went quiet, even Goku, who broke off his conversation and faced forward, fidgeting a little in his excitement.

"I still say we shoulda been behind them," Goku whispered. "But it's really cool. Sanzo and Gojyo are gonna be actors!"

"Ah, if only we had something to remember this by," Hakkai replied in a mock-lament.

The stage was made to look like a throne room, with high-backed thrones studded with glass 'jewels' where the king and queen took their seats, embroidered carpets, and white stone pillars. Sanzo was immediately recognizable by his blonde hair and the way he walked — or _stalked_, rather — onstage. In place of his usual robes was a suit of polished armor, much like the one the man from before had been wearing, a sword at his side and the Maten Sutra still draped about his shoulders. Around him, a group of extras gathered, partnered up and began to dance to a tune struck up by a hidden band. Perhaps it was the fact that he'd known the monk for a while, traveling for months and having met three years prior to that, but Hakkai thought he could sense annoyance and reluctance in the monk's — knight's, he amended with an inward smirk — gait. Even despite the surety that he put into his every move.

Then again, that all knew that Sanzo wasn't an actor, even if it wasn't of the stage variety.

The blonde stopped in front of a figure in a white gown, whose powdered face was hidden behind an equally snow-colored fan, and bowed. "May I..." Even in the middling rows of the stadium-styled seating, Hakkai could see Sanzo's jaw clench. "May I have this dance?"

Red eyes looked up demurely. Or defiantly, maybe. It was hard to tell, the lady's features still obscured by the fan.

And then Hakkai paused. Moved his gaze up, past red eyes only a rare few possessed to the elaborately styled, silver-combed hair. Elaborately styled, silver-combed _red_ hair.

"Oh, my," he murmured.

At that, Goku turned to him. "Do you see Gojyo? Is he in it yet?"

Hakkai considered various answers before nodding to the 'lady,' who Sanzo was now attempting to lead in the dance, presumably following the lead of the extras. "Yes, he's right there."

"He's..." Goku squinted. "Wait. You don't mean..."

He clapped both hands over his mouth, managing to muffle himself but for his initial snort of laughter. There was a shuffling, a few audience members around them half-searching for the source of the sound without turning their attention away from the stage.

"I'm never letting him forget this!" the boy whispered.

Hakkai said nothing to that, smirking as he watched the play unfold.

The dance continued to comments in stage whispers by the bystanders. Hakkai had to admit that, under the circumstances, Sanzo and Gojyo were performing quite admirably. If one ignored the way they were glaring at each other as they danced.

Then the lights shut off, to the surprised gasps and a scream or two from those onstage. A maniacal laugh sounded, followed by a yelp and an angry murmur, presumably belonging to Gojyo by the pitch of the voice and the curse or two sprinkled in his barely audible tirade.

"For centuries has your line thwarted my plans to rule!" A dramatic voice drowned out the mutters. "Hand the throne to me or you shall never see your daughter again!"

The lights were turned on again, revealing a half-surprised, half-fearful group of dancers. The group onstage was noticeably missing one 'princess.'

From his throne, the king rose. Sanzo, looking faintly amused and not bothering to hide the fact, turned towards the movement.

"This must be the work of that youkai wizard, Golbez!" proclaimed the king. "Oh, what will become of my daughter? I beseech you, Prince, er— Prince Sanzo. Save the princess from the wizard's clutches!"

A snort. "He can have him_ — her — _for all I care.

Silence fell for a moment. Someone backstage hissed something about a script, drawing another derisive snort from the 'knight.'

"Another princess isn't hard to come by. Maybe she'll be prettier than the last. And maybe she'll know how to dance."

If Sanzo was miffed by being thrown into this, the cast was equally as determined to keep the show going. And as talented as they were lauded to be, he sure was giving them a challenge with their ad libbing skills.

"We'll reward you, prince. Riches, my daughter's hand in marriage, land— anything!"

The blonde fixed the man with a stare. "I want this stupid costume off."

"W... what?"

"The armor, stupid, the armor."

"But— but what about riches? Marriage?"

"Look. _You_ wear this stupid, smelly, stuffy thing and tell me you can still think of hitting it big."

"I, uh... Is that _all_?"

"Beer and cigarettes would be nice," the blonde deadpanned, drawing an amused murmur from the audience.

One had to admire the king's determination. "V-very well! Beer and cigarettes and, uh, you may change out of that armor."

Sanzo nodded, as if he were a king, himself, pleased with a vassal. "Good. I'll save your damn princess, then."

With that, he stalked off the stage, the lights following him, then dimming into darkness. It was well into dusk, so all one could see on the stage were figures rushing about, setting up the next scene. When the lights came on again, the throne room had been turned into a forest, pillars replaced by trees and gray and brown material covering various stage props from the previous set to signify mountains.

Again, Sanzo entered, decked out in his familiar robes, even the sword from before replaced by his gun, which he kept in his hand. He wound his way around the trees, going across the stage and heading back making a show of searching for someone or something. After two rounds of that, he made his way to centerstage.

"I'm going to count to five," he announced, brandishing his gun. "If someone doesn't come out here and tell me where to find that stupid wizard and how to kick his ass, I'm going to start shooting." The slightest pause. "One."

A murmur went through the crowd, many probably wondering if he was bluffing.

"Two."

More shuffling and murmuring.

"Three."

_Click_.

"Four."

Someone tumbled out from offstage. Hakkai recognized him as the man with all the garlands, from before. So did Sanzo, who did not take it well, aiming the Smith and Wesson at him.

"Ah, Prince Sanzo, here at last!" the man exclaimed, ignoring the weapon and doing somersaults and cartwheels around the trees. "Saving the princess, are you? Are you?" He tumbled to a stop, using the momentum to jump up. "Well, here I am, I am, and I'll be your guide through doom — _doooooom!_ — and peril to get that bad, bad youkai and live happily ever after with your princess!"

"You mean my cigs and booze."

"And your cigarettes and beer!" Before Sanzo could reply, he gestured, then tumbled away again. "Follow me, then, and I'll lead you to the bad, bad wizard."

The blonde did, thankfully putting his gun away. Up a sleeve, of course, probably for easy reach should he feel the need to use it again.

"So, I know how to beat the bad, bad Golbez. Did I tell you?"

Silence. Then, "Aa."

"Do you want to know, too?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you do."

"And are you going to tell me?"

A garland fell off the man's arm, and he backflipped to it to retrieve it. "I think I shall."

"Is that going to happen anytime soon?"

The way he bit out those last words was something of a cue to get a move on. The acrobat stopped his antics, pranced to the blonde's side. After a little show of making sure his 'secret' would remain a secret, the man turned. He was shorter than Sanzo by about a head, so he had to tiptoe up to divulge his information.

"It's love!"

"...What?"

"Love!" A garland waved in front of Sanzo's face. "Love! Love! True love, don't you know! He's bad, very bad! And love is good, very good! Thus love is the key! Love! Love!"

He tumbled away again, heading offstage. It was a good thing that the lights went off just then, signaling another scene change, for, left in the man's wake, Sanzo was beginning to look pissed again.

In the near-darkness came Gojyo's falsetto. "Oh, Prince Sanzo, I hope you come s— What the fu—?" There was a small scuffle, then, having apparently dropped his act, "Touch me again and I'll fuckin' rip your balls off."

The set this time was the same as the throne room, sans thrones and the rest of the decadence. And with the addition of a backdrop, depicting the gray of a castle's stone walls. Gojyo, still in the white dress, had his wrists bound in front of him. A man dressed in black, presumably Golbez, was widening the distance between himself and the redhead. The acrobat cartwheeled in after the lights were fully on again, Sanzo in his wake.

"Hand the princess over," Sanzo ordered.

Golbez laughed. "Never! Not until I get my kingdom!"

The blonde reached for the sleeve where he'd put his gun, prompting the tumbler to jump in front of him.

"No, no! Love, remember! Love! Not guns!"

"Yes," the wizard agreed. "That measly gun would not work on one so great as I!"

Sanzo put on his best death glare. "I know where you bastards are going," he growled, then gestured at Gojyo. "And there's no way in hell I'm kissing _that_."

"What!" The red-haired 'princess' stared. "Kiss? No one said anything about a kiss."

"Ah, a kiss..." the acrobat sighed. "A kiss of true love, the weakness of bad, bad Golbez."

"You're dead." Sanzo's voice was quiet, menacingly so. "All of you."

In the stands, Hakkai nudged Goku.

"Hmm?" The boy looked up.

"Could I borrow that?"

Goku looked in the direction the brunette was pointing. It was a garland someone had thrown around his neck sometime while they were in the gaming area, now kept in the bag they'd procured to keep the prizes he'd won in.

"Umm... sure? But, Hakkai, what are you gonna do with it?"

He merely gave one of his trademark smiles, grabbing the garland and standing.

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High Priest Genjo Sanzo(-sama) was officially sick and tired of this play bullshit. It was one thing to shut Goku up and wipe that damned pleading look from Hakkai's face. It was another to put up with Gojyo and — especially — the acting troupe. It was enough to make a man vow to never go to a play again, especially one that held stupid events like this.

Gojyo was glaring at him, probably reasoning that it was his fault they were both in this stupid thing. He met the look stare for stare.

"If guns don't work on this youkai, I have something that _will_," he muttered, barely noticing that he was still pitching his voice for the audience to hear him. "Makai—"

"Wait!"

He might have expected that from Gojyo, but that was not the redhead's voice. Sanzo turned to the audience, from which a familiar figure emerged, heading down the stands towards the stage, something clenched in his hand. Murmurs began anew in the audience.

"Who— who are you?" Golbez demanded as Hakkai jumped onto the stage platform.

The brunette blinked at him. "Me? I'm..." He thought for a moment. "I'm Hakkai. I'm a wanderer."

Green eyes met violet and held them. Sanzo thought he felt his breath catch in his throat, told himself it was stupid and that sort of thing never happened to him, and met stare for stare.

Hakkai smiled. "Nothing," he continued, voice softer but the words stronger and surer before, "but a wanderer, who would aid his... prince in whatever way he can."

There was a pause in the play, then, which the acrobat took as a cue. "You're here to help! To help!" He bounced and danced for a while, until he was at Hakkai's side. "Are _you_ going to kiss the princess? Our prince seems to be having a crisis."

Sometimes, it was hard to tell when Hakkai's smile turned into a smirk. They looked identical when it came to Hakkai, or nearly so. But Sanzo knew, and caught it, and knew that if Gojyo was watching, he would catch it, too.

"It seems," the brunette spoke to the red and green-clad man, "that Golbez has put the prince under a spell. A spell of hate! So that he would refuse to kiss the princess." It was easy to see he was enjoying this, turning then to Golbez and wagging a finger at him. "Sneaky and genius, as expected of a wizard."

The wizard sneered. "Of course. But so what if you've found me out? One so plain as you would not be able to break my spell!"

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong, wizard." He held up whatever it was that he'd brought with him. "Because here lies your defeat!"

Golbez looked confused for a moment, then shook it off. "A silly garland? Hah!" He gestured to the acrobat. "Then he would have been the one to help the prince!"

"Oh, I wouldn't say so." As he spoke, Hakkai slowly walked over to Gojyo, who was staring at him, waiting, it seemed, for the axe to fall. "You see, this is no ordinary garland."

He held it up, opening his hand to show what he'd been hiding in his fist. Mistletoe. A plastic replica, but those white berries set into the leaves of the garland was definitely meant to be mistletoe.

"Saa." Green eyes twinkling, Hakkai looked once again at Sanzo. "Sanzo-sama, are you ready to kiss your princess now?"

Silence. Dead silence. Even the audience was taken aback momentarily by the new... twist.

Naturally, Sanzo recovered first. And glared _hard_ at Hakkai.

Someone was going to die tonight.

A slow, slow, _painful_ death.

38383838383838383838383 

For months now, the Sanzo-ikkou had been chased by youkai for being exactly what they were: the Sanzo-ikkou, who had the Maten Sutra in their possession and were on a mission to stop the revival of Demon King Gyuu. Sometimes, the horde of youkai was replaced by one of humans, those wanting blessings from one of the revered Sanzo priests.

They'd never been mobbed by a crowd of theatre-goers before.

And as they made a quick escape to their hotel to shut themselves in their rooms until the hoopla died down, Sanzo hoped that this was their first and only incident. Ever.

"I never thought being in a play would be so much fun."

The blonde gave Hakkai a sideways glance as the elevator rose up to their floor. It was one of those faster models, but for some reason, there'd been enough time (and room) for Goku and Gojyo to nearly come to blows, bickering about the night's events, and for Sanzo to get in a few good hits with his harisen. (The gun would have made an appearance, had Hakkai not been there to stop him.) Now they were alone and, of all things to say, it had to be about that stupid play.

"Didn't you enjoy it, Sanzo?"

"Hakkai."

"Hm?"

"Shut the hell up."

"Well, I thought it was wonderful, given the circumstances." The brunette tapped at his chin thoughtfully. "That kiss could have used some work, though."

Since Sanzo refused to look elsewhere but at his reflection in the elevator doors, Hakkai stepped into his field of vision. To which he glared. Never mind that it had little effect on the other man.

"And after all that practice you have, too," Hakkai continued, closing the space between them and wrapping his arms around Sanzo's waist.

Sanzo refused to back down. Refused. _Adamantly_.

Until Hakkai began to close the distance between their lips, of course. Who could resist that, after all?

_Ding!_

They pulled apart at the chime, the elevator doors opening. The lift had taken them all the way up to the penthouse — which was apparently synonymous with 'Honeymoon Suite,' according to this hotel — thanks to the key they'd been given at the front desk.

With a growl at being thwarted by a piece of machinery, Sanzo pulled Hakkai along with him out of the elevator. Not very far, of course. Only towards the nearest clear expanse of wall, which Sanzo pushed the brunette against and claimed his interrupted kiss. Hakkai's shoulders shook with laughter for a moment, but he kissed back, anyway, green eyes mischievous before he lidded them, hands immediately setting to the task of removing the monk's robes.

"I don't think you deserve sex tonight for what you did," Sanzo murmured against the other's lips.

Hakkai only laughed again, feeling hands tugging at his shirt to get it untucked. "I think _you_ do."

"Damn right."

"I also think we should find a bed, Sanzo. It's much more comfortable than cold marble."

The place was huge, but they found that the bedroom was located not too far from the elevator. Not that that was any surprise. It _was_ the Honeymoon Suite, of course.

Having divested the brunette of his shirt and working now at doing the same for his pants, Sanzo was surprised when Hakkai stopped in his tracks. Annoyed, the blonde looked up to find green eyes staring at whatever was behind him. Which should have been the bedroom. So he turned around, wanting to know what had Hakkai both surprised and vastly amused.

Strung along the headboard and between the four posts of the massive red-and-green-decorated bed were sprigs of mistletoe.

"Oh, my," came Hakkai's murmur, laughter beginning to bubble in him.

Sanzo glared at the suite, at the decorations, at Hakkai. But he drew the other man to him, anyway, pulled him to the bed.

Someone was going to die tonight.

And it was going to be _very_ Shakespearian death, indeed.

* * *

Endnotes: Merry Christmas, everyone! Or whatever winter holiday it is you celebrate. If you got all my stupid references, kudos to you! K has no sense of humor. XD; Whee? Aaaanyway, there was much modern-y fun to be had, which I was and still am kinda iffy about. But what can I do? Haaaah... Once again, weird, little things like the 'Demon King Gyuu' mention are from my subs. Not ADV's Saiyuki. (Which is one of the few dubs K abhors, but that's another train of thought entirely.) Oh. And for those who don't know that last reference, Shakespeare often referred to orgasm as 'the little death.' He was such a fun guy, wasn't he? XD 


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